On Defeat and From all things, Beauty.
Even Michelangelo could not see his own genius during the creation of his best known masterpiece.
Happy Holidays!
As winter nears and we reflect on our year, I invite you to measure your success as you would, an ocean wave falling on to the shore. We do not judge a wave crashing, but can notice the effects of it. You are like a wave. Allow the pull of life’s beauty to guide you without forcing the direction or cadence of the tide. Nearing the winter solstice, the light of a new year is being ignited. In a spare moment, take time to acknowledge all your spirit has been through this year and what more of your spirit you wish to emanate outwards moving forward.
One of my favorite pieces of writing is a letter written by Michelangelo during the time he was painting the Sistine Chapel. What is remarkable in this letter, is how his breathtaking painting was created as he was experiencing feelings of great existential defeat:
Michaelangelo: To Giovanni Da Pistoia When the Author Was Painting the Vault of the Sistine Chapel
—1509
“I've already grown a goiter from this torture,
hunched up here like a cat in Lombardy
(or anywhere else where the stagnant water's poison).
My stomach's squashed under my chin, my beard's
pointing at heaven, my brain's crushed in a casket,
my breast twists like a harpy's. My brush,
above me all the time, dribbles paint
so my face makes a fine floor for droppings!
My haunches are grinding into my guts,
my poor ass strains to work as a counterweight,
every gesture I make is blind and aimless.
My skin hangs loose below me, my spine's
all knotted from folding over itself.
I'm bent taut as a Syrian bow.
Because I'm stuck like this, my thoughts
are crazy, perfidious tripe:
anyone shoots badly through a crooked blowpipe.
My painting is dead.
Defend it for me, Giovanni, protect my honor.
I am not in the right place—I am not a painter.”
I come back to read this whenever I myself feel defeated and can find peace in knowing that in our individual lives, we are creating our own Chapel in 360 degrees through time and space of all existence. Even Michelangelo could not see his own genius during the creation of his best known masterpiece. Regardless of the audience, look up and around in every direction of your life and know through all things, your beauty persists. From all things, beauty.
Genuinely wishing you warmth and love,
Evana Roman
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